Gay fact or fiction

I recently had someone tell me that a gay guy is a girl’s ultimate accessory. Every time I hear some fucked up shit like this a small piece of me dies inside. But I guess to many people, gay guys are fashionable, bitchy, well-groomed men with perfect bodies and a lot of disposable income. To some gay guys, that's exactly the standard they feel they should live up to. Nothing disappoints me more than this thought process. I always feel sad and let down by people who think this way. It also makes me resent myself a little for not adopting this fucked up way of thinking. Sometimes I think if I were more like the stereotyped gay guys, maybe I wouldn't be single.... or maybe I would have a more "fabulous" life.

So, if you don't fit the gay stereo type, then are you still gay? That's a tricky question. In the real world, you're still gay, but just different because you don't use the word fabulous. However, in the gay world you're not understood. You speak a foreign language. Your topics of conversation are confusing and are often followed by long pauses and blank stares. You're different and they fear you. You're not really considered the "right kind of gay."

So what is the "right kind of gay?" He goes to gay pride parades dressed in a cowboy hat and a Speedo. He totes a well-recognized name brand messenger bag, and can identify other people's clothing by name brand and price point. He goes to the same bars and clubs every weekend where he'll dance shirtless while high on some fashionable drug sipping on a vodka tonic. He has two or three boyfriends that probably know about each other and probably met online at some point. He worships gay icons like Madonna, and will proudly drop the name of a friend of a friend who knew someone that did Kelly Clarkson's make up. He wears sunglasses indoors and finds some way to expose his name brand underwear. He goes shopping with his closest girlfriend where they'll tell each other what they want to hear and disregard any sense of personal honesty. He is shallow. He is weak. He tolerates people using the word Gay as an adjective--he perpetuates the social lies that run deep within the thin waters of the gay community.

I clearly see myself as someone who doesn't fit this gay stereotype. However, in some social situations I will sell myself out and adopt some of the characteristics of the "right kind of gay" just to get me through. I'll admit there is some comfort in hiding behind that identity. Nevertheless, it's false, it’s life denying, and it's weak. I haven't met a gay guy yet who understands what this is all about.