dirty filters

My car needs a new air filter. It's pretty clogged up and hasn't been changed in the year and a half that I've had it. That got me thinking about other filters in my life that may need to be changed out. Starting with the one that connects my brain to my mouth!

Last night I attended a a great Halloween party--I dressed up as a gay Marine (pictures to be posted soon). It was an awesome good time. I sheepishly will admit that this party was reminiscent of Halloween parties you might see in the movies or on TV. By this I mean there were costumes, great music, and a long ass fucking line at the bathroom (though you typically don't see bathroom lines in the movies). In addition to the costumes and music, there was alcohol! A lot of fucking alcohol. The funny thing about alcohol is that it has this way of disintegrating the filters of sobriety that enable us to keep our personal thoughts to ourselves. Any attempts to filter thoughts last night were completely shut out due to the unstoppable forces of alcohol. That said, I should apologize to one Blake Wright for grabbing his ass. I should also apologize to Adrian Dickerson for playfully slapping him across the face after describing certain body parts of mine (don't ask!). I should also apologize to the people across the street for eating all of their of hummus--how awkward was that!

I tend to operate on a regular basis with my personal brain filter set to low/non-existent. this typically results in the proverbial line being crossed almost every time I crack a joke. But I like to think that is one of my more positive character traits! Others may beg to differ. And to those people I say " SUCK IT!" But sometimes I think I do it to keep myself at a safe distance from other people; slightly alienated. Because when someone makes an off colored remark, you tend to look at them differently, perhaps with a slightly negative lens. People will always remember how you make them feel. I’m not exactly sure where I’m going with this, but every once in a while I’ll resent myself (just a little) for keeping myself at a “safe” distance from others. I think my behavior at the Halloween party can easily be attributed to that thought process. If I’m loud and gregarious, then I don’t feel like I actually have to talk to people, I’ll try to make sure people only look at me, but not talk to me.