Relief

The energy in the building last night was exciting. It reminded me of the way it felt, back in the day, right before I walk on stage on the opening night of a performance. But this was no improv set or a musical. This was my first quarter critique.

It went great. My presentation was natural and not rushed. I was able to connect with each of my panelist (all women thank god!) Some of the work was unfinished, some of the work looked amazing. Despite the quality of my craft, or lack there of, I am proud of what I presented. I worked my ass off and it showed. Sure I used the wrong type of glue with one of my boxes, and most of my edges weren't cut very well. One panelist commented that it looked like I had been using the same Xacto blade for the entire quarter. If it weren't true, I'd probably be upset. Unfortunately, I had changed out my xacto blades every 15 to 20 minutes! I am going to rework a few things over the break to get them to the point where they are perfect, or as close to perfect as I am humanly able to do--though it'd be great if I could find an awesome robot to help me!

So there was this definite high I felt after I left the building. And the Pomegranate margaritas I indulged in afterwards never tasted so sweet! But when I got home I felt a little sad. I felt a sense of loss. As I walked through the wrecked wild scraps of paper and empty starbucks cups, I realized that my work area was now my apartment again. I just sat in the dark and silence and took it all in. I had to take this moment to let the quarter officially end with me. It's hard for me to let it go because I know there was something so special about it. There was this type of innocence and eagerness. I was unsure of what I had walked into. I was scared and excited. I was distressed and then confident. It makes me happy to think that the experience of my first quarter was so unique that I don't know that I'll ever be able to experience something like it again.

I remember working on our value charts with everyone in my Design Aesthetics’ class in the basement of the school. All of the upper quarter students would pass by with reminiscent looks on their face, which quickly turned into relief. This is how we got to know each other. We helped each other out, we were all each other's shoulder to cry on. We all bought each other drinks when we celebrated. We all critiqued each other's work. We all gave each other ideas. We all laughed together.

I like to think that none of us are the same people we were when we started. I know I'm not. I look at my work and I see the beginning of something amazing. I see myself becoming the person that I know I am on the inside. I've seen my friends start to mature and grow. I often wonder who I will work with again when this is all said and done.